OK, 90.8% of you have a job, and you might actually have shit to do, but if you’ve got a minute and a half to spare, watch this video of a giant dog welcoming his soldier daddy home from Iraq.

You won’t regret it.

 

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On something called Jay Sekulow Live, historical fiction enthusiast Michele Bachmann opened her mouth and allowed yet another bit of free-association talking point gobblegygook escape from her gaping maw, including her assertion that Americans fear the rise of the Soviet Union.

The one that hasn’t existed for several decades.

The liberal media is so mean. So are facts.

LISTEN:

 

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Several years ago, a bunch of bankers decided that they weren’t making enough money. So, with the imprimatur of the President, Congress and the Federal Reserve, they decided to package the American Dream ™ to prospective homebuyers that couldn’t afford The American Dream ™, and before The American Dream ™ began rotting on the vine, they injected that filth into the entire world’s financial markets like a toxic Twinkie rotting from the inside out, which fucked everyone over, necessitating austerity measures across Europe.

So, these fucking looting idiots in London decided they were going to steal flat-screen TV’s from Currys Digital department store in order to even the score.

That bit of specious reasoning sounds eerily familiar.

Mark Stone of Sky News shot this amazing footage of looters in the Clapham Junction neighborhood of London, asking “Are you proud of this?...

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We here at Estate Five realize that our entire website is pretty much one big Op-Ed piece, but here’s one anyway. It’s in response to the Huffington Post article Why GDP Growth Has Not Provided Jobs Yet by Sageworks, Inc. CEO Brian Hamilton:


Brian Hamilton has posted another defeatist apologist propaganda piece for the conservatives. The whole rant about government regulation (“interference with their operating environment”) being responsible for unemployment is a complete diversion from the real problem of lack of demand.

The conservative tactic of blaming continued unemployment upon business’s fear of government regulations such as healthcare, taxes, and environmental laws is pure hogwash. It is a cynical tactic designed to take advantage of the fears and distress of the voters in order to dismantle the necessary and appropriate constraints on business, the appropriate generation of tax revenue necessary to maintain government, and development of social programs that benefit our citizens as a whole. This is a very familiar tactic of taking advantage of people’s greatest pain and fears to stampede them into supporting policy decisions which accrue to their individual disadvantage...
 

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Louis’ fairytale world is getting pretty, pretty, pretty dark. Speaking at the American Clergy Leadership Conference, minister and demon whisperer Louis Farrakhan aimed the sort of vitriol he usually reserves for gays and Barbadian pop stars at President Obama.

Before praising Obama as a “beautiful human being with a sweet heart,” Farrakhan continued in his lifelong attempt to come up with something as catchy as "Plymouth Rock landed on us" by calling Obama an “assassin” who has been “turned” by as yet unidentified archvillians.

Farrakhan then theatrically upbraided the assembled crowd for their supposed inattention, after which he wailed about Obama’s recent trip to England, which was all part of the overarching interdimensional conspiracy…to do….something super duper bad. “Now he can stay in Buckingham Palace. Nobody stayed there. Just a few presidents. Why him? Why?!”

The subject then turned to Satan and Saddam Hussein, as it does....
 

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Maha al-Qahtani got behind the wheel today. With her activist husband Mohammed riding shotgun, Maha adjusted her rear-view mirror, fired up her Garmin, wiped the fingerprints from her sunglasses, and backed out of their suburban Riyadh driveway.

She was not alone. In defiance of a long-standing ban on female drivers in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia, scores of veiled Saudi women drove themselves throughout the country today. Although several women reported being followed by police cars, the protest has yielded no arrests as of this writing.

The protest, which has been in the works for some time, has primarily been coordinated through online campaigns such as Women2Drive and change.org. The effort picked up steam last month when 32-year-old engineer Manal al-Sharif was imprisoned for defying the driving ban. Al-Sharif filmed her joyride, saying "A woman has the same right as a man to live her daily life. In dignity."..
 

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Harold Camping is not a charlatan. He does not continually predict the end of the world in order to frighten his loyal followers into donating to his Family Radio media empire, which reported $18.3 million in donations in 2009, and holds assets of more than $104 million, including $34 million in stocks or other publicly traded securities.

The “flabbergasted” Camping, who is still “looking for answers,” maintains that Judgment Day is now coming on October 21st instead of May 21st, even though his organization’s website has now scrubbed all mention of the Rapture from its pages, although his followers do still have full access to the ministry’s Donations page.

Camping is not a self-aggrandizing false prophet who thumbs his nose at God by asserting that in all millennia past and future, He would choose an 89-year-old retired civil engineer from Oakland, California with a predilection for Member’s Only jackets to spread the word of Jesus’ return, and not someone more charismatic and influential like Rachel Ray or Justin Bieber...

 

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How white is she?

Naturally, American Family Association fear-muppet Bryan Fischer has some thoughts on it. Speaking on President Obama’s recent trip to Ireland, the prolific YouTubevangelist contrasted the mixed-race president with Herman Cain, America’s cuddliest xenophobe.

Fischer called it “comical” that Obama would celebrate his Irish heritage on his visit to the birthplace of his maternal ancestors, while calling Cain the “real black man in the race” for the white house.

In light of Fisher’s proclamation in regard to Cain’s status as an “authentic” black man, the Herman Cain presidential campaign will take former GOP Chairman Michael Steele’s advice and “hip-hopify” the GOP Presidential hopeful, rebranding Herman Cain as MC Cain.

Regardless of the 2012 election outcome, conservative voters will at least be comforted with the warm blanket of nostalgia they so desperately crave when they see the election results next November: Obama Beats MC Cain.

 

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It’s been a busy week of name calling. On Tuesday’s episode of his FOX News Dead Program Walking, Glenn Beck, determined to make sure that everyone knows he read a book about WWII, equated the Obama Administration’s handling of the Egypt situation with Nazi appeasers in the 1930’s.

That same day, American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer called gays Nazi’s, saying, “ladies and gentlemen, they are Nazis. Homosexual activists, when it comes to freedom of speech, are Nazis. When it comes to freedom of religion, they are Nazis.” Fisher also equated gays with Islam, the Catholic Church’s treatment of Galileo and the Spanish Inquisition.

Danish film director Lars von Trier finished the week off with the following quote at the Cannes Film Festival: “I really wanted to be a Jew and then I found out that I was really a Nazi, because my family is German. And that also gave me some pleasure. So, I, what can I say? I understand Hitler.”

When reached for comment at an undisclosed location in South America, 94-year-old Fritz Heim said, “You know, it’s actually kind of hard to become a Nazi. It doesn’t just happen, and I don’t appreciate all these people throwing that name around, as if it’s sooo easy to just be a Nazi. You have to earn it, damn it!”

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In defiance of the long-standing nationwide ban on female drivers in Saudi Arabia, Saudi women are taking to the streets on Friday, June 17th to drive themselves. The protest, which is being organized through social media sites, aims to lead the conservative nation towards change by getting rid of the driving ban once and for all.

Housewife Najla al-Hariri got a jump on the protest this week when she drove through the Red Sea city of Jeddah for four days straight, saying "I don't fear being arrested because I am setting an example that my daughter and her friends are proud of.”

In addition to the driving ban, Saudi women cannot travel without authorization from their male guardians, nor are they allowed to vote in municipal elections.

Mirroring the nationwide Driving While Black ordinances in the United States, female motorists in Saudi Arabia may face harassment, and even imprisonment for simply driving an automobile. In light of this oppression, the following video of a clandestine midnight joyride by a Saudi woman bears the dubious distinction of being both highly inspiring and suffocating boring...

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